Whatever the case, he wanted to follow Jesus, just not first. We're not any different. If we were honest with ourselves, could we fill in what it is that we put a higher priority on than God?
"Lord, first let me earn my way to you."
Then I can properly follow. Once I have fixed my faults and cleaned myself up a bit. Spent a little time on self-improvement. I can't stand to be in your presence in my present stage. I must do something first to earn my healing.