I want to help people. I don't want my husband, or sister, or mom, best friend, etc. to struggle through anything. I am a do-er, a fixer, I want to swoop in and enact some power that I think I have and cease their struggle. Kind of like a spiritual ninja.
I'm 100% sure that there are times when God calls me to act in assistance of someone else. I have no doubt that he works through us in the lives of those around us in real and powerful ways.
However....
It is a dangerous thing to try to remove someone else's struggles. This is where the built-in necessity of God in our lives comes in. If we're not connected to him with our ears open for his direction, we can go wildly outside of what he desires. If God tells me to help someone, I'd do well to obey. But if that wasn't his instruction, I'd better come to a screeching halt.
I was reading a Bible study today and this section reached out and grabbed my face with both hands:
"When we jump in to rescue our floundering [loved one]...when we enable, we volunteer to become a lesser refuge for that person."*
My intentions may be good, but the same loving God - who allows me to struggle sometimes in order to grow my faith in him and to strengthen me spiritually - wants that exact thing for the people we care about. When the storm comes, he is the refuge that we should seek. We need to get out of the way so that others can find it also. Why on earth would we present ourselves as a substitute for all he is - restorer, healer, savior, peace, love and so much more?
Our own offer of rest and security, our so-thought "refuge," is so much the lesser.
*"Trust Training" by Dionne Carpenter